Honeymoon phases

At the request of my friend steph, this post is dedicated to the curious aspects of the honeymoon phase when starting a new relationship. Disclaimer: Lyd's this has nothing to do with us, muah <3.

As I have an inordinate amount of spare time, which largely consists of some studying mixed-in with the time I spend at the coffee shop musing about little or nothing. My friend Steph is trying to figure out her situation with her current love interest, so I guess that prompted this little post on relationships in general, and honeymoon phases in particular.

So what exactly is the honeymoon phase? Typically found only in longer-term reletionships (this phrase itself is under dispute at times b/c short-term relationships are ALL honeymoon-ish and it's entirety is characterized by a honeymoon-like feeling as opposed to being only a period of time) honeymoon phases are when you are "more in love," "more infatuated," and/or simply "more" of anything in a positive sense.

That might seem confusing, but it makes sense considering that "honeymoon phases" are new and they're exciting. The person, the relationship, it's all new and exciting. During this time, you're more willing to overlook their misgivings and their faults. Each person is more happy during the honeymoon phase b/c that feeling is a really big rush and it can even be like a drug at times. I guess the honeymoon phase ends when you both begin to become more "real," ironically. This isn't to say that you aren't real when you're in the honeymoon stage, but one one is in the act of courtship, one really is on their best behavior and doesn't really let every weird little thing we do out into the world.

Perhaps it's some of these qualities, which contribute to people becoming serial daters or commitment phobics. When a relationship transitions from the honeymoon phase into an interim transitory period and subsequently whatever that couple decides, it can be very difficult and require a large amount of maturity. People can become addicted to the honeymoon phase so much so that they need or want to constantly be meeting and dating new people until that honeymoon phases is over, or even before hand, so that they don't have to deal with this difficulty--OR it could be that they just haven't found someone [or the one] that they feel is worth putting in the effort to make this difficult transition with.

So what is one to make of this? Relationships are messy. The shorter ones tend to be characterized only of good and happy times, typically. If they aren't, then why are people in them? The longer relationships are about more than just happy times and love and such. Long(er) term relationships require much more than just that. Figuring out whether or not that person is something that you are willing to do that with is entirely up to you.

It's really easy to stay with people during the honeymoon phase, but you also don't gain much in terms of finding out who that person really is. Anyone can stay with someone when it's really happy and it's all fun and games. The rewards of going beyond the honeymoon phase do inherently carry more risk, but they also present a greater deal of rewards: namely the possibility of finding the one person that you will love for the rest of your life (if monogomy and marraige are indeed in your vocabulary).